Malec Oneshots & Songfics
by SaraSwiftClarePierce
Summary: This is the place where I post all my Malec oneshots/songfics. If you got a song you want to request/suggest please leave a review :) For now there's songs from Taylor Swift, Of Monsters And Men, He Is We & Tim McGraw
1. All About US

**_So this is my new story! It's only Malec and are gonna be oneshots :) Most (Or maybe all) are gonna be songfics, mostly with songs and artists I like. BUT if you have any suggestions please leave a review with the name of the song and artist!_**

* * *

_**A/N:**__ I'm gonna start with a little sweet one. All About Us by He Is We feat. Owl City. It's gonna be on the CoB soundtrack, so was probably meant for Clace, but I think it fits Malec just fine!_

_And thanks to _**cazdinsdale**_ for beta-reading :)_

_Imagine the party thing after Valentine was killed in CoG and Jace lives again and all that. Everybody's happy, Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike. Alec kissed Magnus in the hall of Accords when they gave each other the runes and all that when everyone was looking. So this is at the party after that. Enjoy!_

_Characters belong to Cassandra Clare_

* * *

**_All About Us _**_(by He Is We feat. Owl City)_

_(Lyrics can be found at /lyrics/skip-to-the-good-part/all-about-us-featuri ng-owl-city-he-is-we-lyrics/ I'm sorry I can't post it here, but it's not my lyrics so I don't have the rights to post it, sorry)_

_Magnus' POV:_

A hand grabbed mine. I looked up as Maryse and Robert Lightwood entered the room. For some reason I didn't want them to be there. I could feel how he tensed beside me. His beautiful blue eyes got a stormy look as I squeezed his hand. They shouldn't come here and ruin an otherwise perfect night.

Blondie and Isabelle saw them too. Even though they were the younger siblings, they seemed ready to protect him, no matter what . I couldn't help but smile, knowing somebody else loved him too.

He looked at me again, like he was searching for support. As the music started playing, I decided to give it to him. Soon enough many streamed out to the middle of the room and began to dance. With a smile spreading across my face I dragged him along.

_Alec POV:_

I was trying not to look at my parents, who were talking with some old friends, when I felt something pull me away. With a confused look I met those green-gold eyes. They smiled in a way I hoped they would do forever. I knew he was trying to take me away from my depressing thoughts.

With a smooth move he placed his hands on my hips. I gave him a look and said:

"No. I'm not dancing." But still I automatically placed my hands around his neck. It was where they belonged. He smiled, not a smile like the one he would give Jace, but like one he only gave me.

"Yes you are," he replied. I looked down at my feet. "Just let me lead. You can step on my feet, I don't care. Just give it a try." So I did. Slowly we moved to the music and I just took in the moment. I wished to keep that feeling forever.

I kept trying to ignore the looks. No one said anything but I could see the disgust in their eyes. All the time he tried to keep my eyes on his. I used all my force to do it, but eventually my will faded. And the first I got eye contact with was of course my mother. She was pushing her way through the crowd, coming nearer. Everything about her said she was upset.

In some way I wanted to go hug her, say everything was all right. But it wasn't. She didn't like him. My father didn't like him. And they didn't quite enjoy the fact that I was gay either. I looked up at him. _And so what if they don't like him?_ I thought. _I like him._ But did I? Because when I stood up on my tiptoes I didn't whisper 'I like you.'

"I love you," I whispered in his ear. He looked overwhelmed at me, as I pushed his lips down to mine. His lips were soft and sweet, and tasted a bit like strawberries.

"I love you, too," he mumbled in between kisses. Our lips were moving in perfect sync.

I knew everyone was staring, but when I was kissing him they all seemed to disappear. This wasn't their business. This was not their concern. This was about us. This was all about us.

* * *

_**A/N:** So did you like it? :) Please let me know by writing a review!_


	2. Lakehouse

_**A/N:**__ New update :) This is with the song Lakehouse by Of Monsters And Men(REALLY cool band from Island, you should really check them out!)_  
_I imagine this to be after CoLS :)_

_Thanks to _**cazinsdale**_ for beta-reading, I really appreciate it!_

_Characters belong to Cassandra Clare_

* * *

**_Lakehouse_**_(by Of Monsters And Men)_

_(Lyrics can be found at watch?v=O2ksrDDbb00 I'm sorry I can't post it here, but it's not my lyrics so I don't have the rights to post it, sorry.)_

The floor creaked under the weight of his feet. He remembered where to step to make it stop. Slowly he sneaked his way in. It had been a long time since he'd last been there. But, oddly enough, everything had stayed the same; the furniture, the wallpaper, the carpets, even the small photos on the wall were the same. Though he'd seen them a million times, he couldn't resist walking over to look at them.

He was wrong. One photo had changed. Before, the photo had been of three warlocks: Ragnor, Catarina and the owner of the flat. They were in Peru. Now the photo was of a young man with blue eyes and black hair. It was himself. He was smiling – just generally happy.

He could still remember the day the photo had been taken. They had been in Egypt, seen the pyramids. Back then everything had been fine. Then the sparks came, starting the fire. And soon they had been drowning in flames, burning them up, eating its way through their flesh and soul. And the fire was still alight. Could it ever be put to an end?

He took a step back. _Why does he have pictures of me up?_ he thought. It had been months since they'd seen each other last. Well, except for all the Clave meetings where both tried to ignore the other. So far with luck.

He wondered how he could've been so stupid. Why had he trusted Camille? Of all people?

The way his Witchlight had lit up in every possible color, still haunted his mind. And the words. And the way their lips had touched when he had said '_Kiss me'_.

They had been great once. Even though everything around them had been turned to ashes. And now it was their turn if they didn't stop the fire.

There was a noise at the door. Quickly he spun around, prepared for anything.

"_Alec_?" the newcomer said with a surprised look.

"Magnus. I – I just wanted to return my key."

* * *

_**A/N:**__ So i really hope you liked it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think! And if YOU got any songs or idea's leave them ina review as well & I'll look into it! Thx for reading :)_


	3. Highway Don't Care

_**A/N**__: Yay! Finally Internet! I'm on vacation and Internet is not something to take for granted :S Which is also why I haven't be posting lately_

_Anyway,I got a request for this song, and actually wrote it right away, because since I already knew the song, the idea just popped into my head as soon as I saw the request. _

_It's the song Highway D__**o**__n't Care by Tim McGraw feat. Taylor Swift and Keith Urban. I actually like this sing(well, a little. And maybe because Taylor Swift is in it) and also based this fic on the music video. _

_I hope you like it, there'll be more coming when I get home in a couple of days :)_

**_I do NOT own the lyrics or the characters!_**

* * *

**Highway Don't Care (by Tim McGraw feat. Taylor Swift & Keith Urban)**

_Bet your window's rolled down and your hair's pulled back_

_And I bet you got no idea you're going way too fast_

_You're trying not to think about what went wrong_

_Trying not to stop 'til you get where you goin'_

_You're trying to stay awake so I bet you turn on the radio_

_And the song goes_

Magnus sat at the edge of his bed. Where was he? How was he doing? What was he doing? And who was he doing it with?

But how was he supposed to answer all those questions, when he had trouble knowing the answers for himself? Where was he exactly? How was he actually doing? What had he been doing? _And who was he doing all that stuff with?_

A place he'd been before, not that good, nothing, no one. He was only aware of one fact.

Alexander.

Alexander wasn't with him. That's why he wasn't doing good at all, that was why he hadn't been doing anything, and that was why he had not been doing anything with someone else.

Magnus dried his eye with the back of his hand. It's been a long time since he'd last been crying, so why start now? There was no reason for that, it was himself who had walked away. But it was also himself who sometimes regretted it.

_I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby_

_I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby, baby_

Slow and steady the window rolled down. Alec sat in the drivers seat. He had no idea where he was going, he just drove. The wind blew his hair into his eyes. With an angry gesture he tore it away.

Everything just went wrong at the moment. Well, it was fine that Sebastian finally was dead and all that, but nothing else was right. Except that Jace was happy with Clary, and Izzy had finally begun to date Simon for real. So everybody was happy. Just not Alec.

And it wasn't their fault everything went wrong, it was his own. It was his own damn fault.

_The highway won't hold you tonight_

_The highway don't know you're alive_

_The highway don't care if you're all alone_

_But I do, I do._

_The highway won't dry your tears_

_The highway don't need you here_

_The highway don't care if you're coming home_

_But I do, I do._

With a sigh Magnus got up. No matter what, it wouldn't help to sit as a statue on his bed.

In the living room someone was waiting for him and signalized it by meowing.

"Okay then," Magnus said and scooped Chairman Meow into his arms. Right now the Chairman seemed like the only constant thing in his life. Except for annoying clients and depressing thoughts.

With another sigh Magnus dumped onto his divan. He'd used a spell to change the furniture and decoration in the room every week, just to get some excitement in his life. Right now it was his old flat he'd had in Paris. A gently rubbing of a head against his hand bought him back.

"What do you think Chairman?" Magnus asked and lifted the cat up over his head in straight arms. "Do you think it's to late? Or should I just forget it?" The Chairman meowed.

"I thought so," Magnus said. "You miss him too, don't you? He was the only one where you could be sure he would pet you."

_I bet you got a dead cell phone in your shotgun seat_

_Yeah, I bet you're bending God's ear talking 'bout me._

_You're trying not to let the first tear fall out_

_Trying not to think about turning around_

_You're trying not to get lost in the sound but that song is always on_

_So you sing along_

The speedometer still moved higher up the scale. Alec reminisced the way the way Magnus lips would curl up in a smile. It had been weeks since he'd seen that last, and he knew time would erase the memory if it didn't soon happen again.

His shoulder ached. They'd been hunting a greater demon yesterday, and his shoulder was still stiff. It was nice to do something, set your mind on autopilot, so Alec had used every chance to go hunting for demons.

And Magnus probably had his own demons, an they probably all looked like him.

So would Magnus ever forgive him?

_I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby_

_I can't live without I can't live without you baby, oh baby_

"_Kiss me_." That was what Alec had said and what Magnus had done. Sometimes he wondered why he'd done it. Wouldn't it had been easier to walk away if he hadn't? But, the other part argued, it was nice to have a kiss as a last memory.

Magnus just wished it hadn't been such a sad kiss to be the last. He didn't even think much of the _reason_ why he'd walked away, the fact that Alec had thought of taking away his immortality, controlling his life. But Alec hadn't done it. So what had he actually been angry for?

_The highway won't hold you tonight_

_The highway don't know you're alive_

_The highway don't care if you're all alone_

_But I do, I do._

_The highway won't dry your tears_

_The highway don't need you here_

_The highway don't care if you're coming home_

_But I do, I do._

What was he going to do? Was there anything he even _could_ do, to make Magnus forgive him?

He reached out and rolled the window up again. The sun had begun to go down and with it the heat.

The sunset was beautiful. But not quite as beautiful as if Magnus had been sitting beside him.

_I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby_

_I can't live without I can't live without you, baby, oh baby_

_The highway don't care_

_The highway don't care_

_The highway don't care_

_But I do, I do._

Magnus woke up when his phone began to ring. _What the hell?_ Who was calling him at 2 am?!

_Alexander._

It didn't say Alexander on the screen. Magnus had once deleted his number in anger and to prove for himself he was moving on. It hadn't worked, because the number on the screen was without doubt Alec's. he'd try to call so many times where Magnus hadn't picked up, just let it go to voicemail.

"Alec?" he said questioning into the speaker.

"_Ma-Magnus?"_ Alec sounded scared and surprised at the same time. "I-" a wheely noise flinched the line as it broke.

Magnus stared at the phone. Had Alec hung up? And what was that noise? Magnus didn't know, even though one thing was sure. There was something wrong.

_I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby_

_I can't live without I can't live without you, baby, oh baby_

_(The highway don't care_

_The highway don't care_

_The highway don't care_

_But I do, I do)_

_[x3]_

A hand collected into a fist hit the steering wheel as tears started to blur his vision. The lights of the car lit up the way, and Alec didn't think of driving, just dod , he reached for his phone in the shotgun seat. In the second try he succeeded to dial the right number. For a long time the phone just rang. Rang and rang and rang. He questioned if it'd been a good idea to call at all. Alec was just about to hang up, when someone said his name.

"_Alec?_" Magnus said. There was something over his voice Alec couldn't define, but it sure felt nice hearing him say his name.

Because he had not picked up before. All those times Alec had called before, he had not picked up. But he'd picked up now. _He'd picked up!_

"Ma-Magnus?" he said as the first tear silently fell down his cheek.

_I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby_

"Magnus!" It had only been an hour between Alec had called till his sister did. "Magnus, you need to come. I-... We-... She started crying again, the sobbing sound reaching Magnus' ear through the phone. He'd never heard beautiful and strong Isabelle like this.

"Isabelle, calm down! If you gotta wake me up at 3 am, it better be for a good reason." She stopped sobbing and just breathed heavily. "Now, try again, one thing at a time."

"Okay," she said. Still crying. "I- it's Alec. He-." She began to cry out loud again. He could sense through the phone someone was holding her. Magnus was alarmed now. Alec? Like in Alexander Gideon Lightwood, the Shadowhunter?

"What Isabelle? What did he do?" he demanded.

"He... Drove of the road," she almost whispered. "They said there was no - no pain."

The phone landed on the floor with a bump.


	4. Your Face

**_A/N: _**_I am SO SO SO sorry for not updating yesterday, even though i promised! You can punish me now... But here it finally is, and I may even __update again later today ;)__  
_

_And in the last update I forgot to thank **cazinsdale** for beta-reading, so double thanks this time! And thanks for just writing with me, help me figure the mystery about comma's in English out (which was A LOT easier than I thought... nothing like it is in Danish)and just all the little comments after reading my stuff through so I can get even better :)_

_I really love all your reviews and requests! Right now I got three/four on my list, but I always need some more :)_

_**I do not own these characters or the lyrics!**__ (Note that the line '_Cause yes I'm scared of what love, gave me and took away_ I have changed. the original was 'Cause I'm not scared of what love, gave me and took away. The line _And I still wanna turn around_ I've also changed from_ And I don't wanna turn around_)_

* * *

**_Your Face_**_(unreleased song by Taylor Swift)_

_I heard a song tonight on the radio  
Another girl sings about a boy  
Just sees his face in every space in every room  
And I know that if I turn around you won't be there  
If I close my eyes will you be there?_

Nothing. Still nothing. After all those years.

Every morning Magnus still woke up, and expected someone to lie beside him. But no. He was alone. Even Chairman Meow was gone. All that was left from an ancient time was the Institute cat Church, the daylighter- Simon something. Or was it Sheldon? – And himself. None was left, except them. And they were the only three left to remember the others. Sometimes Magnus would even spend his evening with the vampire, talking about the good times.

_I don't wanna lose your face  
I don't wanna wake up one day and not remember what time erased  
And I still wanna turn around  
'Cause, yes, I'm scared of what love gave me and took away  
And I don't wanna lose your face_

He got up. It was time to face yet another day. As yesterday, and as tomorrow, he tried to remember. He tried to recall his name on his lips, tried to recall the blue shade of his eyes. It was only just possible. Magnus knew time was washing the memory away. Time always did that; there was no way to stop it. That's why he, every morning, tried to recall the last love of his life.

_I've got a picture of you in my bedroom  
I hope it never falls  
I hope I never lose that feeling, I used to get when you called, (would call?)  
And now I wonder to myself  
Who were you? Where are you?  
Were you ever here at all?_

With only an old pair of pants on, Magnus went to get himself a cup of coffee. Even the high warlock of Brooklyn needed that sometimes. He had considered moving, but then decided not to. It was easier to remember things if you were where they had happened.

His gaze caught an old picture frame on a drawer. It was turned around, the photo against the wall. Sometimes he couldn't bear to look at it.

After a long time, he walked over and turned it. The photo was faded, but Magnus had looked at it so many times it didn't matter.

_ The sun was burning. Everybody was trying to avoid the Egyptian heat. Except two boys who stood a little outside the tourist group. What the others didn't know was that one of them had used a spell to keep away the heat. They were leaning into each other, the way couples seemed to do._

_ "It'll be the last," Magnus said. "I promise."_

_ "Okay. But it better not be a picture of my ass," Alec mumbled. Magnus flashed his white teeth and bent in to kiss his boyfriend. Alec made a sound at the back of his throat, and kissed back. Magnus felt a hand at the hem of his pants. Before it got any further he pulled away._

_ "Picture first, Alexander!" he proclaimed and Alec sighed. He knew Alec didn't like taking pictures that much. It was part of the fun. And taking pictures of him from behind... That was part of the fun too._

_ Magnus slung his arm around Alec, who turned his back to the pyramids._

_ "Smile!" And so they did._

Magnus put the picture frame down; still with the photo against the wall. Today wasn't a day he could bear look at it.

_I don't wanna lose your face  
I don't wanna wake up one day and not remember what time erased  
And I still wanna turn around  
'Cause, yes, I'm scared of what love gave me and took away  
And I don't wanna lose your face_

Everything had happened in such a rush. Much of what happened back then was just a blur to him, like much else in his long life. All Magnus hoped was to never lose his face. Never wake up to realize he couldn't see those blue eyes in his mind.

Even if it came to a point were only the bad memories where left, he still didn't want to lose them, because love had given him a chance. But he had turned it down.

_That girl in the song had it so good  
I wish I could close my eyes and see you  
I wish the sky had your face  
And the oceans had your eyes  
And the sunset had your lips  
And I had you_

The sun hadn't been up long. Magnus liked to get up early and do something all day. Then he was too tired to have depressing thoughts at night.

The air was fresh and cool, just the way he liked it. Walking the way from his flat in Brooklyn to the New York Institute always made him want to turn around.

One time, he couldn't help but look into Alec's old room. Only to discover, it wasn't what he'd expected. Now it was just exactly like any other unused room at the Institute. Nothing was left.

But he had a contract with the Clave, and now they needed assistance. So there was no way he could turn around now.

The sky turned blue now. The sunset was over. Alec liked sunsets, he remembered. He had said that once. It was one of the few memories that were still completely clear to him. He had made a portal to take them away. Together they had walked the streets of London and, ironically, Alec had stopped on Blackfriars Bridge. Just at the moment where a brown haired girl with a serious face and a boy who looked like had had some Asian roots, turned away from each other. But only Magnus saw them. Alec probably didn't think someone would use glamour here; otherwise he would've seen it too.

The girl gave Magnus an astonished look, but didn't say anything. He returned the surprised look. He really hadn't expected to see those two here.

But soon enough Alec drove Magnus' attention to him again, and the girl disappeared. Already in that moment Magnus knew they wouldn't be together forever. He'd always just tried to avoid thinking of it, but right there, fear had a hook in him. So to be reminded that it was real, Alec was there, he grabbed the boy and pressed his lips against his boyfriend's. Alec was too surprised by the force of the kiss to do anything at first. But when Magnus cupped his face in his hands, he woke up.

Magnus sighed. How he wished Alec were there to hold his hand.

_I don't wanna lose your face  
I don't wanna wake up one day and not remember what time erased  
And I still wanna turn around  
'Cause, yes, I'm scared of what love gave me and took away  
And I don't wanna lose your face _

_Oh no no  
I don't wanna lose your face  
I don't wanna turn around  
Oh oh yeah  
Oh oh oh oh yeah_

Finally. Magnus could finally lay down to rest, after a long day of meetings. But a long day of meetings didn't make him tired.

So his mind began to spin. Spin around one particular day, Magnus would remember forever.

It was a day carved in stone, to be remembered forever.

It had been a sunny day. One people would go outside and have fun in. But for Magnus and the others at the Institute it wasn't fun.

Though their enemy was gone, Jace didn't burst into flames when he touched someone, it wasn't a fun day. They should be celebrating! They should be celebrating that Sebastian finally was gone. But so was Alec.

On the doorstep to the Institute, Isabelle even accused it of being his fault. Then she began to cry again and apologized. But Magnus hadn't needed an apology. Because he even blamed himself.

If he hadn't walked away from Alec that night, he would've been part of the battle. He would've been a part of it, and would've killed Sebastian himself before he could even touch a single hair on Alec's head.

Lying in his bed, Magnus listened to the silent sound of loneliness. A normal person would feel grief, sadness, maybe anger. But he didn't feel anything at all. When Alec had gone away, he had taken Magnus' heart with him and the hole that left grew bigger and bigger for each day, till there wasn't anything of Magnus left.

Sometimes he thought of why he hadn't just become mortal, why he had made such a big deal out of it. Then he could've stayed with Alec, protected him, and wouldn't have face all the ages of this world alone.

Sometimes Magnus even wondered it it was worth it. Was it worth living life, when you didn't want to?

But he knew Alexander would've hated him for giving up so easily. And that was what kept him on his feet.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Please note that I've never been on Blackfriars Bridge, so I have no idea of the view from there :)_

_And please leave a review and tell me what you think, good or bad! And if you got any good songs or ideas for oneshots you are very welcome to leave those too ;)_

_Thanks so much for reading!_


	5. Cooking

_**A/N:**__ I got a request to update with something happy, so that's why I'm giving you this :) It's just some random fluff..._

_Thanks a million times to __**cazinsdale**__ for beta-reading this :)_

_**WARNING**: There's a little light adult themes in this!_

_I do not own the characters_

* * *

"Mmm," Magnus said, taking in the wonderful smell of dinner in his kitchen. "What are you making?"

"Guess," Alec answered as Magnus came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his torso.

"Guess, you say?"

"Mmm..."

"A romantic dinner with a violin player, just as good as the one I once knew, and afterwards we'll have the most wonderful sex?" Alec just gave him a look.

"Guess again. I'm not a gourmet cook, the only reason why I learned to cook, was so we didn't have to eat Izzy's food."

"Well, then I don't know," Magnus said while white damp rose from the pan Alec was cooking with. "But you sure can take a pause from it."

Magnus span Alec around and their lips met. Alec grabbed the counter, to resist the great force there was behind the kiss, as a hand travelled up his back under the dark blue shirt, which was one of the most colorful things he owned. And he knew Magnus liked it.

In some way, they ended up on the floor. Neither of them knew how, and they didn't really care. All they thought of was each other and their touch. Everywhere Magnus' fingers went, Alec felt it like he left a burning trail on his skin.

Soon enough both their shirts came off. Alec ran a hand over the flat stomach. Magnus groaned when Alec started to kiss him down the neck.

"Alec, darling..." he moaned.

"Mmm...?"

"I think our dinner is burning."

"What?"

"I think our dinner's burning," Magnus said right when the fire alarm began. It send a unbearable ring through Alec's ear. A thick column of smoke rose from the pan.

"Not again!" he yelled while he pushed himself away from Magnus and the floor. Quickly he took the pan of the stove and threw it into the sink where he turned on the water.

"Ouch...!" The smoke stopped and all that was left was two black pieces of what once had been meat.

"Did it burn you, sweet pea?" Alec ignored the nickname and looked at Magnus who still lay on the floor, hands behind his head.

"Just a little."

"Then come down here again. Let me enjoy the fact that you don't have any shirt on." Alec blushed, but did as he was told.

The evening turned out just as Magnus had predicted earlier, except that it wasn't Alec's food they ate...

* * *

_**A/N:** So.. did you like it? Tell me what you think by leaving a review, I LOVE all of those I've already got!_  
_And if you got an idea or a song to request, just put it in a review or send me a PM! :D_


	6. Forever After

_**A/N: **Hey there! I'm so sorry for not posting in such a long time! I'm gonna try make it up and post two (maybe three!) things tonight :)_

_This was something I wrote a long time ago, and just felt like to update... So here you go!_

_BTW, PLEASE review so I know if you like it or not! Thank you :)_

_I do __**not**__ own the characters and I know it's very very short..._

* * *

**_FOREVER AFTER_**

He knew he shouldn't be acting like this. It was just a stone with a name and a date on it. But nontheless, it didn't stop him from drowning in sorrow, grief and regret - even centuries after.


	7. The Note

_**A/N:**__ Just another little thing I wrote..._

_I do __**not**__ own the characters, they all belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare_

* * *

**_THE NOTE_**

It was a beautiful evening. Until the note came. At first he didn't believe it, didn't _want_ to believe it. Camille could have sent it to annoy him; just to be mean. But in the end he'd chosen to go anyway - he had to make sure it was just Camille and her stupid little tricks.

And then he was forced to believe it. Because there Alexander was, standing in the dark with those shining blue eyes; the note had been right.


	8. Tell Me

**_A/N: _**_I heard these lines, and right away imagined him coming out after a bath, look in the mirror and just thinking about life._

_I do **not** own these characters, they all belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare. The Quote is from the song Tell Me by He Is We_

* * *

**_STANDING IN THE MIRROR, TRY TO IMAGINE FOREVER_**

**_WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, FACING THE GREY HAIR?_**

The mirror reflected him back. From here he could see every little detail on his young, but old, body; the flat bellybutton-less stomach; the long legs; the raven black hair which for once was completely free of hair products. He sighed, lifting a lock of hair up between a pair of fingers. _You should think that after so many centuries, I would've gotten _some_ grey hair_, he thought.

Cause there were no grey, just plain black all the way through. Sometimes he wished he had grey hair, just to ever have that experience.

And then there was the other reason. The reason for why he now, after so many decades, wished he had grown old and just been plain mortal.

'_You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That's it_', he'd said once. But much often than just now, had he wished he had become mortal so he could have stayed with Alec and didn't have to handle his death - _that_ was more than he could bear.

He just wished they'd become one of those old couples with grey hair, sitting on their porch, just like you saw in the movies; sitting there after years of marriage, knowing each others weaknesses, strengths and flaws and still love one another.

He just wanted to sit on a porch on his old days with the love of his life. Just wanted to grow old with someone. And he wanted that someone to be Alec.

But that was too late now, because Alec wasn't there anymore, and just the thought if his last and greatest love was unbearable.


End file.
